MEASURES TO CONTROL NATURAL DESIRE OF MEN AND WOMEN

MEASURES TO CONTROL NATURAL DESIRE OF MEN AND WOMEN

The Qur’an (24:30-31) states: “Tell believing men to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity. This is most conducive to their purity. God is certainly aware of all that they do. And tell believing women to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity, and not to display their charms except what may ordinarily appear thereof….”
Islam wants to establish a clean society where desire is not aroused perpetually, and erotic scenes are not displayed everywhere. Continual excitement of the sensual urge leads to an insatiable desire that may become unstoppable. A stealthy look, seductive move, flagrant make-up and thinly-dressed bodies are meant only to add to such voracious and uncontrolled excitement. In such an environment, prudence and self-control are highly desirable and appropriate. Hence, there remains one of two alternatives: either total permissiveness that disregards all checks and values, or psychological problems or disorders that result from having to suppress a desire that has been strongly aroused. 
One way Islam achieves its goal of establishing a clean human society is to prevent such uncontrollable excitement from the carnal urge. It wants the natural sexual urge, of both men and women, to remain healthy, maintaining its natural strength and to satisfy it in the proper, clean manner. Attraction to the other sex is both natural and profound, because, Allah, the Exalted, has made it the means by which human life continues and by which man can fulfil his task on earth. 
A permanent attraction subsides for a while and then regains strength. Thus, it requires physical satisfaction. If this does not take place, tension will rise and man finds himself in a sort of permanent torture. Excitement takes place through a look, a move, a smile, a joke and even the tone in one’s speech. The best safeguard is to reduce such excitement so that the mutual attraction between man and woman remains within its natural limits, and finds its satisfaction properly and naturally. Islam prefers this line.
The two ayaat as quoted above give us some examples of how Islam helps reduce the chances of excitement and sin: “Tell believing men to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity. This is most conducive to their purity. Allah is certainly aware of all that they do.” (Ayah 30) Ibn Hibban has explained that to look at a woman with whom marriage is allowed (non-Mahram) with intent to have (erotic) pleasure is prohibited, and to look without any such motive is undesirable (makruh). The purpose of the ayah is to prohibit all illicit acts for fulfilling unlawful passions. For unlawful passion, the very first act is casting eye with bad motive and its ultimate result is adultery. Both these acts have been mentioned clearly and are prohibited. All other acts falling in between, such as touching hands or having a conversation, are included by implication. 
Ibn Kathir has related Ubaidah having said: “Any act done in disobedience to Allah is a major sin, but the initial and ultimate acts are mentioned at the two ends of the ayah.” The initial action is to cast an eye, and the ultimate is adultery.  Lowering their gaze is an act of refining men’s manners. It represents an attempt to rise above the desire to look at women’s physical charms. As such, it is a practical step to ensure that the first window of temptation is shut. Minding their chastity is the natural result of lowering their gaze. It is indeed the second step that comes after strengthening one’s will and rising above the natural urge right at the beginning. Hence, the two are stated in the same ayah as a cause and effect, or as two consecutive steps both in personal conscience and in reality. “This is most conducive to their purity.” (Ayah 30) It ensures that their feelings remain pure, unaffected by immodest desire and immoral action. Thus, feelings retain their noble human standards and do not sink to animal levels. This protects honour, integrity and sanctities within the community. Besides, it is, Allah, the Exalted, who lays down such preventive measures, fully aware as He certainly is of people’s psychology, instincts thoughts and motives: “Allah is certainly aware of all that they do.”
“And tell believing women to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity.” (Ayah 31) In the initial part of this long ayah, the injunction is the same which has been enjoined on men-folk in the preceding Ayah. Women-folk is also included in the injunction along with men, but in the next ayah, there is a separate injunction for them for laying more emphasis. Hence, it is clear that for women it is forbidden to look at any man except their mahrams (those relatives with whom marriage is not allowed). They must not cast hungry or seductive looks at men to arouse their desire. Nor are they permitted any undesirable behaviour other than what is lawful and clean. 
“And not to display their charms except what may ordinarily appear thereof.” (Ayah 31) The Arabic term zinah, translated as ‘charms’, has wider implications than natural beauty. Qadib Baidawi and Khazin have said in explanation of this ayah that the object of the ayah appears to be that women should not let anything of their charms (zinah) be seen, except that which gets uncovered during the process of work. It also includes adornments women add to look more attractive. Such adornments are lawful for women to use because they satisfy a natural female tendency that makes women always want to look beautiful and attractive. Such adornments differ from one time to another, but whatever form they take, they are meant to satisfy the same natural motive of appearing more beautiful and displaying charms before men. Since this is a natural tendency, Islam does not suppress it; it brings it under control so that a woman displays her charms before one man, who is her spouse who sees her as no one else does. Besides, her close relatives who may not be married to her may see some of her charms, because their desires are not excited as a result, considering their close relation. However, the charms or adornments that appear on a woman’s face and hands are permissible to see. 
Most of the Islamic jurists are of the view that when a woman attains puberty, nothing should be seen of her except face and palm of the hands. The above explanation is put forward in a very simplistic manner without going deeper into the issue so that it is not confusing for our younger generation to understand the spirit and motive behind the injunctions as stated by Allah, the Exalted, in the given ayaat. Once it is realised, by Allah’s grace, one will start adopting these principles in his/her life and one can further explore the ayaat given in different commentaries by Islamic scholars for a better understanding and adopting the lifestyle as Allah, the Exalted, expects from us for our salvation in this world and the Hereafter.

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